i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
