Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
