I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
