I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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