this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
