If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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