I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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