4 words: hood of his car
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
high people should be assigned attendants
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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