Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
