Slut skills are useful in every country.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
