If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
