Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
