i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
