i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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