i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
