got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
