what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
