She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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