dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize