I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
