i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
