Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
