dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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