Having a random hookup so left but love u
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
