She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
