i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
