She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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