Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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