I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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