It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
