oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
