you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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