So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
