i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
