I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize