is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
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i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
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It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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