That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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