I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
