I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Drake has all the answers
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
