i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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