Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
