i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
