she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
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Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
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He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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