Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
