Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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