So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
