Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
