shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
