Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize