ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
