I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
