Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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