Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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