Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize