Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
