He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
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Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that