I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀