Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
