I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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