I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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