He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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