how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
